I just finished a course in linguistic programming infused with Ken Wilber’s philosophy and spiritual teachings. Learning that we are not our behavior and human personality is a construct, made me realise that the voice inside your head is not actually you. Your personality was built on experience of your separation from the wholeness of the world. To operate efficiently in this world environment you needed to distinguish between black and white, have labels attached to things around you, record repeatable patterns and have emotions to drive your behaviors. With that came the anger, frustration, expectation of the world to match a version of reality constructed in your head.For a long time I thought that the chatter in my head was me and it was not until last week I had a feeling that there is something else. The silent observer that lives between the words in the silence of pauses. Your old time friend that is present in the moment when you completely consumed by an activity what is commonly referred to as ” to be in the flow”.
I was sitting on the carpet of my study room and i caught myself enjoying a thoughtless pause. And that moment I realised – it is the real me. I had no inhibitions, worries, doubts and any other feelings. Just a momentary feeling of wholeness with the world. And an overwhelming feeling of freedom came upon me. I was filled with joy and happiness to be here and present. I felt something astonishing and significant yet it was here all the time. Like a good friend that came to your school graduation evening. You were nervous standing on the stage waiting for your certificate to be handed over and all the sudden you saw him sitting in the back row looking at you with a gentle smile.
I am inviting that gentle friend into my life and I want to keep our friendship going. Because it will be a lasting one. The one that outlasts new Justin Bieber song, empires, time and chatter in my head.
Welcome to a brand new day